WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE…
On a first date-
-show him the closet full of baby clothes you've been
collecting for your future children.
In the shower-
-slip and fall
At your ex’s wedding-
-show up. In a sexy outfit.
In jail-
-make friends.
Being stalked-
-leave your blinds open.
Stuck in an igloo-
-turn on your blow dryer.
In sewing class-
-make pilgrim clothes. (Is it just me or is that all we used
to make in sewing class? Either stuff that looked like pilgrim
clothes or... aprons.)
Asleep in a helium balloon-
-fart.
At a birthday party for twins-
-ask the wrong one out on a date.
-or only bring one gift.
On a nude beach-
-be on a nude beach.
You’re falling in love-
-get pregnant. haha I have no idea why that was the first
thing in my mind- apparently I've been watching too much
16 and Pregnant.
Low on gasoline in a bad part of town-
-be out of money with no cellphone.
Having a baby-
-think you're gonna be the same person after the baby comes.
-drink beer. (just saw this one.) (although, that used to be something
they'd tell you to do in late-term pregnancy... so I've heard)
On fire-
-keep talking to the hot girl in the Jeep at the gas station (hello Dumb & Dumber)
Lost at the mall-
-call someone who's not there to ask for help.
At a single’s dance-
-go with your fiance.
-or be a wallflower (I've totally done this though)
Driving your significant other's car-
-drop fries or M&Ms down between the seat and the console
(ala Tommy Boy)
Being robbed at gunpoint-
-start laughing.
(I wonder what I'd really do though...)
Kissing-
-three words: Slobbery Fish Lips.
Paying the hotel cashier-
-ask if they take checks.
Buying lingerie-
-are there really any rules for this? I think not.
Commenting on a blog-
-are there any rules for this one either?
Other than not insulting someone.
I'm Anti-Comment-Insult.
How would YOU answer these??
