And Speaking Of... (extended version)

As we've been preparing for Matt and Brianna's baby girl,

all the showers and such,

it's come up that Brianna's mom always used bassinets

and that Brianna may want a bassinet too.

This very entertaining story would end there,

except that a few days ago, Houston said to Matt,

"What do you want a bayonet for??"

When Matt told me this, the only thing that

came to my mind was, "To kill the enemy!"

oh dear.

-

And Speaking of Weapons,

This is not one.

-

And Speaking of Troubled People,

Someone told me recently that I have a bad attitude.

My first thought was

-

My second thought was 'I wonder if there's a way you

could make money by having a bad attitude...' 

At which point I stumbled across this ad:

Don't even think about it.  You can't have it. 

It's mine.

-

My third and final thought on the subject was probably

what you'd expect from me.

...which reminded me of this clock that I've always coveted from afar:

I don't just love it.  I frikkin' love it.

 -

And Speaking of Forgetting (or not caring) about the time,

If I've not mentioned it before, my husband is even worse than

my dad at losing his keys.  And cellphone.  And work ID card.

...And where he parked the car.  ...And how many kids he has.

You get the idea.

[Important note: this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine- I try sooo

hard to keep track of everything and he just puts stuff in the

dumbest places!  you get me, right?]

So, between you and me, when I found his cellphone yesterday-

which had been lost and dead for 2 1/2 days-

I hid it from him for a few hours longer.

I know.  I'm evil.

(Who DOES that??!!)

-

[But Speaking of Suka's cellphone,

He's been taking extra-super-good care of it and keeping

an eye both eyes on it since I gave it to him.

(Maybe we'll go 24 hours without losing it again...)

(Though I should probably lower my expectations on that.)]

-

And Speaking of Going to Hell,

While I know I've probably brought it all on myself,

I've been feeling a little like When-it-rains-it-pours lately.

Am I the only one?

And what's up with that?

I was actually thinking that since my 'Rain' Protection

is about this effective

I should probably invest in some good therapy.

Or medication.

But then I watched an Oprah show the other day that reminded

me of all I am blessed with... and it's hard to feel dumped-on after that.

Amen.

-

And Speaking of Umbrellas,

Did you know they made an umbrella for TWO PEOPLE?!?

Introducing... the Tandem Umbrella:

This officially marks the end of the leaning over, bending down,

shielding... you know, the overall sharing of the umbrella for one.

Don't you hate it when half of you is nice and dry and the

other half is all soaked 'cuz you were trying to be all

"kind" and "courteous" ...?

Ha.  Those days are OVAH!

-

And Speaking of Being Loving.  And chaste and benevolent,

The other day Peli said something to me that I couldn't hear.

I said, "What?"  He repeated, but I still couldn't hear him.

I asked him to speak louder.  He then asked me,

"Mom, Do you have hair over your ears?"

And I was all "No."

-

And Speaking of Hair.  And Ears,

When I googled an image for that story, this was what I got:

This has nothing to do with anything, except that

I was shocked and awed and felt like I needed to take

a shower after seeing it.

You're welcome for that.

-

And Speaking of Hair.  Again

Can anyone tell me why my sweet, funny brother Dallas

has decided to become a Mountain Man?

Exhibit A:

He's away from home for 3 months and this is what happens?

Grizzly Adams?

Pretty soon he'll be stockpiling rifles and

making plans to build a remote cabin in the woods.

Oh wait.  He's already done both of those... okay, never mind.

I can't worry about all that right now or I'll go Ca-Razy.

But if you see Dall using a Walking Stick to navigate his

way through the forest wearing a leather-slash-fur coat,

Feel free to follow these instructions:

-

And Speaking of Ca-Razy...

-

And Speaking of Tranquilizers,

Peli's got a couple new friends... some of whom are

totally rad, and some of whom could use some.

(Of those aforementioned Tranq's, I mean)

There's always one (or four) in every neighborhood, right?

I decided that I would handle them by doing this

(Note: If you plan on attempting this method of

ignorance, you must buy the old-school, oversized

headphones.  Ear-buds just will not cut it for

this type of work.)

-

And Speaking of "Ahhhhh" Moments,

or "Awwwww" Moments,

The other night we couldn't find the dog, Bronx,

anywhere!!

Like most dogs, there are really only a couple places he likes to be,

so the fact that we were calling him and couldn't find him was troubling.

Dad was in the front yard whistling, Mom was in the back yard calling,

I was walking around to the usual hiding places.  Nothin.

Then I went downstairs to Peli's room and saw the cutest thing!

Peli was asleep in bed, and Bronx had gone down and fallen asleep

on the floor next to him.  It was sooo totally cute.

It was a moment like this

or this 

or this 

It's especially cool cuz Bronx has been known to put

up with such things as this

Just makes it that much sweeter.

It was totally an Awww Moment until I pulled a

Graceful-NASCAR-Evasive Maneuver that went

something like this

Ahhh, Life.

-

And Speaking of My Genetic Athletic Abilities,

my little, tiny, Raini has officially given up on crawling.

We Have a Walker!

(that didn't come out right, but you get what I'm sayin)

Suka was getting a little impatient, which reminded me of these

Spider Parents

-

Me?  I wasn't impatient at all.  When they're ready,

they'll do it.  But I did give this encouraging speech t

Raini as she was getting prepared for her big transition

It's awesome, and she's cute doing it, too.

Bonus.

-

Well, now that I've talked typed your ear off,

I gotta go schedule my Carpal Tunnel surgery.

Have a wonderful day and I'll see you at yoga!