rest easy, Real Mothers.

I've been reading a book.

[Don't fall off your chair... I actually love to read,

it just seems like I can't usually find the time!]

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It's called 'House Rules,'

and it's an amazing read, so far.

Written by the author of 'My Sister's Keeper,'

it's about a single mom of two boys, one of whom has

Asperger's Syndrome (a high-functioning form of autism).

That son is obsessed with forensic science and crime scenes-

which ends up being a problem when he is a suspect in a murder !!

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Anyway, a page I read a few days ago has been running itself

 over and over in my head since I read it-

like an old record whose needle keeps skipping back to the same exact place.

The funny thing is that this excerpt has almost nothing to do with the actual story-

it just hit me... and stayed with me.  The boys' mom, in the book, writes one of

those Dear Abby-style advice columns in the local newspaper.

This was from one of her columns.

So, TaDa... Read On:

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I cannot admit this out loud.  In the first place, we are expected to be supermoms these days, instead of admitting that we have flaws.  It is tempting to believe that all mothers wake up feeling fresh every morning, never raise their voices, only cook with organic food, and are equally at ease with the CEO and the PTA.

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Here's a secret: Those mothers don't exist.  Most of us- even if we'd never confess- are suffering through [the Daily Grind] in the hopes of a glimpse of that magic [secret.]

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I look very good on paper.  I have a family, and I write a newspaper column.  In real life, I have to pick superglue out of the carpet, rarely remember to defrost for dinner, and plan to have 'Because I said so' engraved on my tombstone.

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Real mothers wonder why experts who write for 'Parents' and 'Good Housekeeping' seem to have their acts together all the time when they themselves can barely keep their heads above the stormy seas of parenthood.

Real mothers don't just listen with humble embarrassment to the elderly lady who offers unsolicited advice in the checkout line when a child is throwing a tantrum.  We take the child, dump him the lady's cart, and say, "Great.  Maybe you can do a better job."

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Real mothers know that it's okay to eat cold pizza for breakfast.

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Real mothers admit it is easier to fail at this job than to succeed.

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Real mothers know the ratio of Daily Grind to Fun is severely imbalanced.  For every moment your child confides in you, or tells you he loves you, or does something unprompted to protect his brother that you happen to witness, there are many more moments of chaos, error, and self-doubt.

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Real mothers may not speak the heresy, but they sometimes secretly wish they'd chosen something other than this endless routine.

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Real mothers worry that other mothers will find that Magic Secret, whereas they'll be looking and looking for ages.

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Rest easy, Real Mothers.  The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.