Monday, May 16, 2011

"Dear" Funny,

Some of y'all may have seen these in an email...
that's how I got 'em last week, and they made
me laugh.  Hard.  Out loud.
So, I had to share a few...

Dear Noah,

     We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
-
Dear Icebergs,
     Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
-
Dear America ,
     You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
-
Dear Yahoo,
     I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google
-
Dear 2011,
     So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
-
Dear Windshield Wipers,
     Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
-
Dear girls who have been dumped,
     There are plenty of fish in the sea....Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
-
Dear Michael Jackson,
      You really should have become a Catholic Priest. The pay isn't great, but the benefits....
Sincerely,
The Pope
-
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
      Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder
-
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
     Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
-
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
     Marco....
Sincerely,
United States
-
Dear World of Warcraft,
     Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
-
Dear Batman,
     What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
-
Dear Customers,
     Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
-
Dear Americans,
     I'm sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn't hear you over my health care benefits.
Sincerely,
Canadians
-
Dear Global Warming,
     You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore
-
Dear Ugly People,
     You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
-
Dear Mr. Gump
     WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get....
Sincerely,
Jenny
-
Dear Katy Perry,
     I liked the kiss too.
Sincerely,
Justin Beiber
-
Dear Haiti ,
     Is it too early to ask what's shakin'?
Sincerely,
Seriously Going To Hell
-
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
     I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream....What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio
-
Dear World,
     Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish douche bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
-
Dear White People,
     Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
-
Dear Twihards,
     If he sparkles, he's probably one of ours.
Sincerely,
Gay Men Of America
-
Dear iPhone,
     Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
-
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
     Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified
-
Dear Trash,
     At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
-
Dear Man,
      It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
-
Dear Scissors,
      I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
=====

1 comment:

Hawkins Family said...

Seriously? Hilarious! I loved these. Thanks for posting!